January 2012
cosmo tip #126
expertcosmotips:
catch him off guard and do something unconventional when the clock strikes twelve this new years eve. look him deep into his eyes and scream “I WAS BORN WITH TWO BUTTHOLES” at the top of your lungs. this will make him realize you’re not like other girls and he will fall deeply in love with you
perfect.
December 2011
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I CAN’T STOP SCRATCHING AT MY LEGS
THE BUGS HAVE BEEN BITING MY LEGS IN MY SLEEP
But I remain content with the thought that I ordered videogames on the internet, and when I get back to canadalands, they will be waiting for me.
Also my mom is talking me into buying a sonic screwdriver because she knows how much I want one, and she secretly wants me to become a giant nerd or something.
Not...
slameronhurley:
Instead of kissing someone on new years I’m gonna punch someone in the face
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Last night I got super sick for not a whole lotta reason.
It was the scariest thing ever because I haven’t thrown up since I was about 11. THROWING UP IS THE WORST THING OKAY. Just the worst thing.
But eventually I was okay, and my mom put a damp towel on my face because I guess that is the sort of thing that helps.
AND NOW I’M EATING PEANUT BUTTER TOAST AWWW YEAAAAAAAAHHH.
And...
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For Christmas, I am giving everyone air from my...
noddingoff:
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Have I been drinking since 11am this morning?
The answer is yes. In the islands, there are no fucks to give.
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gingerhaze:
I’m gonna start a blog called Artists Drawing Stupid Animals, and everyone will submit stupid animals that they’ve drawn.
I HAVE BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE
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