This is what I get to put up with.
When I was born, my mother dropped me in a bucket of smooth jazz.
Hey Patrick, you remember when you said you’d leave me the fuck alone? Yeah I remember that. That was a nice idea.
YEAH MAYBE IT IS BUT WHAT KIND OF CAKE?! IS THE QUESTION. There is more to this surprise that meets the eye.
So for a lovely person’s birthday, I get to stay at their house for the weekend, going to anime north with them, cosplaying with them, and then accompanying them to an after-prom.
and then on their birthday the day after, I am making such an awesome nerdy and delicious surprise that I just alkfjghsldkfjgh. I can’t spoil the surprise on tumblr because it needs to stay SECRET UNTIL THEN.
hint: it’s not birthday sex.
but I am honestly just the coolest person sometimes.
I like being back home because I get to fall asleep to the wind blowing and coyotes howling
instead of the wild mating call of the flamboyant fratboy.
have you ever been drunk and
just
wanted lots of things?
FOREVER?
wait what.
l don’t know.
I’m supposed to be studying for an exam tomorrow. Instead I am studying AND drinking.
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER.
