survey corps gettin turnt
This Australian Shepherd’s heterochromia cuts across both her eyes so that each eyeball is dark on top and light at the bottom, giving the distinct impression that she is constantly fed up with you…
I want a dog that looks like its constantly rolling its eyes at me
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
One last collection from my Twitter archive: a very short, extremely erotic love story. I figured I should post this while it still has my Valentine’s Day avatar and name on it.
Last night my older sister introduced my brother to Madoka Magica and we watched the first three episodes. We didn’t tell him what happens in episode three
By the end he was lying on the floor just sort of sobbing into the rug like so
He’s 25 years old
A Terrible Curse